DEAR ABBY: I've a longtime good friend, “Laurie,” who's single. Many of the relationships she will get into are with males who're in relationships already. She usually means that my husband and I and he or she get collectively to hang around, however I discourage it as a result of I don't belief her utterly. (I do belief my husband.)
Laurie and I've been there for one another throughout tough occasions, however I wrestle lots with the truth that she has relationships with married males or males who're in different dedicated relationships. I've been tempted to inform the companions of those males, however I keep in my lane and thoughts my very own enterprise. It eats away at me typically, and I really feel like I would like to finish the friendship. Then I really feel like buddies must be there by way of thick and skinny. Are you able to give me some steerage? — UNEASY IN THE EAST
DEAR UNEASY: Your good friend Laurie has boundary issues in relation to males, which she has proven you repeatedly. As a result of you aren't comfy with the thought of you, your husband and Laurie socializing collectively, take heed to your instinct and chorus from arranging it. Since you disapprove of her way of life to the extent that you're considering of ending the connection you may have along with her, inform her how you are feeling. She wants to listen to it.
DEAR ABBY: Yearly like clockwork, we obtain a vacation card from buddies, which the spouse addresses solely to my husband. It's at all times a jolly card crammed with their household adventures and achievements for the 12 months, and it invariably leaves me questioning why she thinks it's OK to go away me off the envelope. My husband and I've been collectively for greater than 20 years. She is aware of I exist. We now have met. I went to her wedding ceremony. Our husbands are pricey buddies.
Final 12 months, my husband lastly talked about to his good friend how a lot it hurts my emotions to be left off the cardboard. He appeared shocked his spouse did that, however stated he'd repair it earlier than the following playing cards went out. I used to be excited on the considered her altering her impolite methods when their subsequent card arrived. However, like yearly earlier than, I used to be overlooked once more.
This actually bothers me. I've felt overlooked sufficient occasions in my life, and it stings on the core. I really feel like she is a grown-up imply lady, and I can't work out why she would deliberately not embrace me. A part of me desires to ship a card to everybody in her household and depart her identify off. What do you assume? — LEFT OFF IN WYOMING
DEAR LEFT OFF: I believe that, as a result of anticipating your husband to intercede for you didn't work, it's time to select up the telephone. Inform this clueless girl your first (and final) identify and ask her why she appears unable to handle her greeting playing cards so that they embrace you in addition to your partner. If, after that, she continues to “neglect,” you'll know past a doubt that she's not solely clueless however classless, and keep away from no matter publicity you should have along with her as usually as attainable.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
