DEAR ABBY: My sister is reasonable. She's additionally not good at selecting presents for individuals. Usually, the issues she offers are worse than if she'd carried out nothing in any respect. An instance: She was simply right here visiting and introduced my 4-year-old a toy automobile she'd picked up at a storage sale (positive, thus far), however one of many wheels was damaged off. She had the wheel in her purse and mentioned one thing about gluing it again on, however by no means did. As soon as she left, we tried to attach it, but it surely turned out the toy wasn't fixable, and my son was very disillusioned.
This isn't the primary time this has occurred. There's a historical past of garments which can be too small, ripped or soiled, toys despatched so late the kid has lengthy outgrown that stage, and so on. It's not a matter of cash. She's the director of a big legislation college, so she will be able to purchase something she likes. It's a matter of consideration.
I've spoken to her a number of instances about not bringing presents anymore, however she glosses over the frustration and says she loves seeing children open the issues she brings. Sometime, my children will probably be sufficiently old to see her habits as quirky, however for now, I need it to cease. Am I proper? — GIFT RIFT IN THE WEST
DEAR GIFT RIFT: You aren't mistaken. Your sister seems to be “slightly off-center.” I agree with you that at some point within the not-too-distant future, your youngsters will probably be discerning sufficient to note the “presents” your sister brings are dirty or damaged and chosen with out regard to their pursuits or style.
A option to keep away from the issue can be to not invite her to go to round birthday or vacation time, or intercept her inappropriate presents earlier than the youngsters see them.
DEAR ABBY: Final yr, we renovated our home. We now have a south-facing roof that's prepared for the set up of photo voltaic panels. Our utility firm has an incentive program to decrease the price of the tools, but it surely ends in six months.
The one factor holding us again is the next-door neighbors' previous, tall tree that shades our roof the place the panels would go. The tree is cracked and has been coming down in sections during the last a number of years. Earlier homeowners of the home needed to restore their entrance home windows and gutter after a big department got here crashing down in a storm.
The present homeowners are a younger couple with a small child. Now we have had occasional, pleasant driveway conversations however don't actually know them. Wouldn't it be presumptuous to ask if they might be prepared to allow us to pay to have their tree eliminated? Folks might be prickly about their property. However possibly they wouldn't thoughts another person protecting what might be an inevitable value.
We need to proceed having a pleasant relationship, whereas additionally shifting ahead with our venture. Ideas? — UPGRADING IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR UPGRADING: As a result of you might have a cordial relationship with these neighbors, it shouldn't be offensive to level out that their tree presents an issue. While you do, inform them {that a} falling department had broken their entrance home windows and gutter, which precipitated an costly restore.
Clarify that the cracks within the tree might current a hazard to their toddler, then volunteer that you're greater than prepared to pay the price of having it eliminated.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
