DEAR ABBY: I had my DNA analyzed and subsequently acquired a message from a younger girl (a stranger) on the positioning. Her DNA matches on the stage of a niece. Her message mentioned she didn't know her father, and her mom hasn't been clear on that topic. Her mom “met a man” again in early 1990. She was born later that yr. She believes I'm her uncle and requested if I do know any male family who could possibly be her father. I responded, letting her know I'd get again to her.
Once I spoke with my brother, he corroborated particulars in her message about assembly her mom, which was a hookup. The information of a daughter he by no means knew about is overwhelming for him as he at present has a child, and his spouse is pregnant once more. (He additionally has an grownup daughter from a earlier marriage.) I've not but responded to this girl as I await my brother's resolution about how he desires to proceed. What recommendation do you could have about how I ought to reply to my “niece”? — MAYBE UNCLE IN TEXAS
DEAR MAYBE UNCLE: You shouldn't be the intermediary any longer. Reply to the younger girl by telling her you're giving her contact info to your brother. Upon getting carried out that, it's best to let him resolve easy methods to deal with it from there.
DEAR ABBY: I've a persecution complicated. I do know the place it comes from. My mom repeatedly informed me how ugly I used to be as a toddler. Just lately, I used to be going by means of some tough occasions. My sister, who I used to be accountable for, had a large stroke and subsequently died. I'd needed to care for her, and I resented it. When she had the stroke, I started reminiscing, and never all the reminiscences have been good ones.
I occurred upon an image of my household taken after I was 10. My older sisters and fogeys have been additionally within the photograph. Once I confirmed the photograph to my good friend, her response left me speechless. She virtually threw the telephone down and mentioned, “What an unpleasant household! Your mom is ugly and fats, and your father is ugly, too!” She continued with extra of the identical. Aside from that, she's a form and giving good friend.
I can't recover from what she mentioned as a result of I do know I'm ugly and I hate being so. But when we have been so offensive, why would she be associates with me? We at the moment are in our 60s, so “magnificence” is within the rear window. However how do I take care of her when she asks why I've develop into so distant with out placing myself down additional? — TAKEN ABACK IN FLORIDA
DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Excuse me, however “type and giving” individuals don't make nasty feedback about their good friend's family' bodily look. What she did was off-the-charts disagreeable, and your response is regular. In case your “good friend” asks why you could have been distant recently, inform her how shocked you have been by her hurtful feedback in regards to the household image. Not everyone seems to be blessed with bodily magnificence, however many individuals are thought of lovely due to the kindness that shines from inside.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
