The Golden Bachelor season 1 star Gerry Turner had rather a lot to say about his ex-wife Theresa Nist in his new guide.
Golden Years: What I've Discovered from Love, Loss, and Actuality TV lastly dropped on Tuesday, November 4, almost a month after the 74-year-old first teased the explosive memoir in his Us Weekly digital cowl story.
“I used to be crammed with all these tales about what occurred that by no means obtained to be seen, and emotions I had about among the folks on the present that I saved to myself,” he instructed Us final month. “I made a decision, ‘Hey, it's time to attempt to inform the entire story, and never simply the parts which might be good to most of the people.' However as I obtained into the method, I noticed I additionally wished to fall again to the objectives we had on the present — to maintain your self open to alternatives, take pleasure in life, don't stroll by something that could be good for you simply since you've gotten older.”
Bachelor Nation watched Gerry and Theresa get engaged in fall 2023 and change vows in a reside wedding ceremony ceremony in January 2024. They known as it quits after simply three months of marriage. Within the guide, Gerry makes a number of claims about their relationship, together with that he felt “trapped” by the choice to wed. He additionally alleges she broke their pact not to talk about the break up.
“The query was consistently, ‘Why are they getting divorced so shortly?' And I used to be, I imagine, made out to be a villain,” Gerry instructed Us.
Theresa, who beforehand acknowledged that she was not given a heads-up from Gerry about any of the content material within the guide, launched a press release to Us on the time: “It makes me very unhappy to suppose that he felt empty and trapped. I want he had stated one thing and simply ended it. However at the least now I perceive why he was so hurtful to me so many occasions. And I'll say this. These in glass homes mustn't throw stones. I do want him all the very best.”
Golden Years is out now. Scroll by means of for the largest takeaways about Gerry and Theresa's relationship:
Preliminary Connection to Theresa
Within the guide, Gerry was initially complimentary of Theresa, calling their first kiss “historic” and evaluating her capability to ease his first date nerves to his relationship with Toni. The twosome additionally bonded over the losses of their respective spouses. “The enjoyment and mutual affection of discovering somebody who match so nicely was overwhelming,” he recalled of their first one-on-one date.
Theresa Nist, Gerry Turner Everett Assortment
Kathy and Theresa's Feud
In the course of the season, Theresa butted heads with among the girls, together with future fan favourite Kathy Swarts, over how assured she was in her reference to Gerry.
“On the time, I considered her as innocently attempting to be companion, manipulated by the others to overshare. Naturally talkative, she will actually put phrases collectively!” he wrote of Theresa. “Seems, I used to be the best one to govern.”
Gerry concluded that Theresa was “unable to learn the room” and was “rubbing” it in together with her “counterproductive” apologies.
Retroactive Pink Flags at Theresa's Hometown
“One thing about her solutions felt rehearsed,” he wrote of conversations with Theresa throughout her hometown dates episode. “Her supply was sluggish and deliberate. There's nothing unsuitable with pondering earlier than you converse, however with Theresa it was as if she had been working by means of an inventory of phrases till she hit on the one who thought would attraction to me.”
Regrets About Leslie and Religion
Gerry struggled with how he harm the opposite girls on the present, particularly runners-up Religion Martin and Leslie Fhima. He mirrored on being caught up within the second when he stated “I really like you” to Religion — not lengthy earlier than he despatched her house.
Theresa Nist, Gerry Turner Eric McCandless/Disney by way of Getty Pictures
“Was this real love? If that was true, I didn't wish to file it away. Alternatively, if this was merely a visceral response to the heat of Religion's clearly loving household and the momentum of the present, I wanted to determine that out — and fast. I used to be so confused,” he wrote. “The one factor I knew for certain was that I wished ice cream. I really like Dairy Queen … sadly, even my favourite Blizzard did nothing to assist me kind out my bewilderment.”
Gerry famous he has “a number of regrets” from his time because the Golden Bachelor, however judging Leslie for her previous marriages and monetary scenario after conversations throughout their in a single day date nonetheless haunted him on the time of writing the guide. “I nonetheless have gut-wrenching ache once I take into consideration the best way I harm her,” he wrote.
The Proposal
“Standing on the platform arrange for the proposal, I felt empty,” Gerry wrote of proposing to Theresa simply moments after ending issues with Leslie. “I had already made the choice that I used to be going to suggest to Theresa, so the sensation wasn't my decision. Relatively there was no happiness within the second.”
Gerry Turner, Theresa Nist Everett Assortment
Whereas he chalked up his “darkish temper” to “lack of sleep” and empathy for Leslie on the time, Gerry additionally admitted within the guide that he doesn't know if Theresa “gained by default.”
Put up-Present Struggles
Because the present was airing, Gerry and Theresa couldn't see one another with out the present scheduling non-public meet-ups, which is commonplace for all Bachelor {couples} to keep away from spoilers. They had been capable of speak on the telephone, however that didn't assist their relationship develop.
“Theresa got here off virtually mechanical on the telephone as we went by means of our nightly script of generic, mundane questions you and your partner would dispense with in 5 minutes,” he wrote.
Gerry realized issues about Theresa's way of life that involved him about their compatibility, together with her disdain for cooking and “strict no-sugar weight loss plan.”
“Exterior of the kitchen, every thing was pet canines and roses between Theresa and me. We had been into one another like loopy,” he wrote earlier than issues took one other flip for the more severe. “Then Theresa started to speak about how she didn't wish to depart her job.”
Whereas Gerry claimed that Theresa agreed to stop her job in roughly six months, she was wishy-washy about whether or not she would truly depart New Jersey or retire. Whereas Gerry wrote that he revered her for eager to be extra financially steady for retirement, he claimed she misled him.
“I used to be a little bit resentful as a result of her financial scenario wasn't in any respect what she had described on the present, leaving me to marvel what else I had misunderstood, or she had misrepresented,” he wrote. “We had been going over well-worn territory — her working/not working, the place and once we might transfer — when she made a remark that actually unnerved me. ‘For those who pay all my bills,' she stated, ‘I'd stop proper now.' I used to be completely stunned.”
Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist's final interview as a pair revealed rather a lot about their relationship. The Golden Bachelor couple opened up about their romance ups and downs on a March episode of the “Expensive Shandy” podcast simply weeks earlier than asserting their break up after three months of marriage. “Theresa and I've had a quantity […]
The Wedding ceremony Planning
Whereas issues improved between the then-couple after the present aired and so they might get collectively in public, Gerry noticed new crimson flags as they dove into wedding ceremony planning.
“I used to be getting fearful that Theresa was extra within the trappings of getting married than in whom she was marrying or what her married life was going to be like!” he wrote.
Gerry additionally claimed Theresa was hesitant to signal a prenup as they proceed to battle with the place to reside — and the sort of home they might afford. Whereas Gerry stated that their finances was 1.5 million, he alleged that Theresa wished a 4.5-5 million house.
Theresa Nist, Gerry Turner Eric McCandless/Disney by way of Getty Pictures
The Night time Earlier than The marriage
Gerry admitted within the guide that he poured his coronary heart out to ex-contestant Religion the evening earlier than his January 2024 wedding ceremony to Theresa.
“‘Going by means of with this wedding ceremony is the unsuitable factor to do,' I stated. ‘I want I wasn't the place I'm, however I've no manner out. I'm fully trapped,'” he wrote.
Religion allegedly replied, “What the hell are you doing? If in your coronary heart this isn't proper, why are you going ahead with it? That isn't you.”
Gerry wrote that he was paranoid about wedding ceremony friends who had been on the town for the televised occasion seeing the dialog between him and Religion.
“I might see the puzzled seems from a number of of the opposite golden girls. I caught a involved look from my daughter Jenny,” he wrote. “Nothing might have been farther from the reality. Whereas she was questioning me, Religion was additionally comforting me. Her eyes stated that her coronary heart was with me. Good friend, confidant, and excellent sister all rolled into one, she repeated, ‘Gerry, you don't have to do that.' I want I had listened to her smart and honest recommendation, however my have to please everybody, engrained in me from childhood, was too robust to launch its harmful grip.”
Gerry finally felt like he couldn't let down Theresa, their households, the solid who had traveled and everybody at ABC who labored exhausting to placed on the nuptials so he wed by means of with the ceremony.
“I wouldn't blame anybody who accused me of being a phony once I exchanged vows with Theresa on January 4, 2024,” he wrote. “However I can say that regardless of my concern that we weren't prepared for marriage, I nonetheless dedicated to the sacred establishment with all my coronary heart. “
Gerry and Theresa Solely Noticed Every Different a Handful of Instances After the Wedding ceremony
Two days after saying “I do,” Theresa flew again to New Jersey and Gerry went house to Indiana. He drove to see her for the primary time on January 11, 2024. The aforementioned way of life points resurfaced, with new indicators of their variations together with Theresa utilizing her flat stovetop as a make-up counter for good lighting since she didn't prepare dinner a lot. The duo additionally obtained right into a battle over Gerry driving 5 miles over the pace restrict and his clothes decisions.
The primary evening of his go to, she allegedly requested him to sleep on the sofa as a result of she had a “huge day.” He remained on the sofa for the journey. “On the resort, her habits concerning intimacy was snug, even ahead,” he wrote. “Once we returned to the states, she ignored alternatives for intimacy.”
Gerry left a day early and the pair didn't see one another till she visited Indiana almost two months later. Whereas the duo obtained off to begin — even sharing a mattress — Theresa struggled with bonding with Gerry's buddies, in accordance with him.
Their ultimate battle was over a remark Theresa made about Indiana, one thing that was beforehand hinted at by former Bachelor Ben Higgins.
“Theresa seemed round on the countryside and stated with a shudder, ‘There may be simply no manner I might reside right here. It's so remoted.' I drove Theresa to the airport for her flight house, and it was one of the vital uncomfortable automobile rides of my grownup life,” Gerry wrote. “She'd urged that it must be developed with condos, procuring malls, and industrial parks. ‘It simply looks like such a waste of all this area,' she stated. I used to be flabbergasted on the notion that anybody would wish to destroy such nourishing magnificence.”
Gerry Turner, Theresa Nist Courtesy Everett Assortment
A couple of weeks later at Joey Graziadei's After the Closing Rose on March 25, 2024, they agreed it was over. “We communicated clearly about our particular person doubts and agreed we had acted in haste in getting married,” he wrote. “Sitting about six ft from Theresa on a stone bench, I turned to her and requested, ‘So is it time to simply name it quits?' ‘Sure,' she stated, ‘It in all probability is.'”
Put up-Divorce Questions
Gerry recalled “a lingering listing of questions” about Theresa's stint on The Golden Bachelor after their break up. He additionally claimed that he realized extra about how the opposite girls on the present allegedly felt about Theresa.
“Whereas on the mansion, Theresa was studying Learn how to Win The Bachelor, a guide that guarantees ‘The Secret to Discovering Love and Fame on America's Favourite Actuality Present.' There was one thing in regards to the picture of Theresa curled up on one of many couches, planning her technique to win a rose, that made me really feel sick to my abdomen,” he wrote. “It made me suppose that her purpose was by no means to search out the subsequent love of her life; it was to win. A few of them had been upset as a result of they felt Theresa had cheated them out of an opportunity to search out love too.”
As he hinted at in our cowl story, Gerry was felt betrayed by Theresa's April 2024 assertion after they agreed to not converse out about their break up exterior of their joint Good Morning America announcement. He was additionally upset that she didn't right what he believed to be false narratives circulating in regards to the break up not being mutual or questioning Gerry's monetary standing. Gerry wrote that he skilled suicidal ideas amid the backlash.
